I met with my second supervisor this morning. We discussed the progress I was making with the second draft of my thesis. I was able to report that I had now completed the two substantive chapters on practice and research and had reasonable drafts of chapters 1 and 4. I confirmed that I believed I would be able to submit a full second draft on 31 January.
I raised a couple of questions and concerns as follows:
- My supervisor had previously suggested that the originality of my research currently mentioned in Chapter 1 and substantiated in Chapter 4 should be removed from Chapter 1. I raised my concern that if the examiners were not able to see where my thesis was headed that they might formulate their own opinion, before being enlightened by me at the end of Chapter 4. I suggested that if is referenced upfront then the examiners would know what to expect and look for, whereas if it is only introduced at the end then they may have created their own conclusions. We agreed that I should mention what I considered to be the originality and contribution of my research in Chapter 1 and then elaborate on this in Chapter 4.
- I raised my concerns with my supervisor about her suggestion that I should write much longer paragraphs. I explained that I was concerned that substantially changing the way I write and break up the text may interfere with my style and voice. While I have combined paragraphs where appropriate, I did not want to shy away from some shorter ones. I said I would revisit again when I review the text for my third draft.
We noted that we needed to confirm the focus of the third draft at our meeting in February. I have already noted that I need to work on opening a thought, elaborating and then closing it down. I also need to review the long quotations I have. It is better to analyse and explain why the quotation is important and not leave it to the person that is quoted. I also need to identify for myself where I think the weaknesses of my thesis lie.
A very useful meeting that clarified some points that will be helpful in finalising the second draft of my thesis

Alison Price
My name is Alison Price and for the past ten years I have travelled the world photographing wildlife, including Alaska, Antarctica, Borneo, Botswana, the Canadian Arctic, Kenya, Rwanda, South Africa, Zambia and Zimbabwe.