I travelled to Dundee to meet with both supervisors and hear their feedback on the First Draft of my Thesis.  I was a little nervous, but keen to discuss how I can develop and enhance my work as I move into my Final Year.  I have detailed notes that I made when I read through the First Draft before submission, but this post is an aide memoire (in no particular order) of the key elements of feedback from my supervisors.

1. Using first person is fine.
2. Need more substantial paragraphs featuring and developing one idea or point.  Guide:  15-17 lines and 5-6 sentences.
3. Be sparing with quotations and ensure personal voice is not lost.  Do not end a paragraph with a quotation.
4. Make clear where the diagrams are my own and write about their creation and development.  Need to explain what it means to practice in their context.
5. Explain the purpose of the vignettes and how I use them and why.
6. Introduce and explain the importance of each vignette to my practice.
7. Everything reads as equal in importance – need to emphasise key moments of insight.
8. Need to introduce all outputs early in the Thesis – maybe produce a visual heuristic to show components.  What place does each output have in my practice?
9. Emphasise importance and centrality of blog as a continuous output of research and a reflection on theory and practice.
10. Bring practice and images into the Thesis earlier.
11. Continues to be an imbalance between theory and practice.  Philosophy is still foregrounded.
12. Make a statement and then clarify it for the reader.  Do not move on too quickly.  Be patient with the reader.  Say it and then say what I mean by it.
13. Choose the optimum position in the Thesis for each image and say why it is important and how it links to the preceding text.
14. Write about artists as much as it makes sense to my research.  Write more about less artists.
15. Work with what I have and tell the story.
16. Be consistent in my use of terms throughout eg “practice-led research and Artist’s book.
17. Create a skeleton narrative.  Map out the structure and narrative through chapters, sections, paragraphs and be clear about what I need to say in each – in bullet point form to start.
18. Work through repetition and find the best place for each section in the narrative.
19. Bring all my writing to the best standard.

I am very grateful to my supervisors for taking time to read my First Draft and then to convey their feedback in a most constructive way.  I am now excited to begin my Final Year and start the re-drafting process, whilst ensuring I find time to reflect on all the detailed points they have made.