I met with both of my supervisors to discuss the second draft of Chapter 2. This is the chapter specifically about my practice and so I was very keen to get it right before redrafting Chapter 3 on the underpinning theory and revising Chapters 1 and 4. My supervisors were very positive about the redraft and recognised the significant work I had put in to address their previous concerns. However, they had some useful comments/questions to improve and consider as I work on the full second draft of the thesis to be submitted on 31 January 2022:
- I have a good writing style which presents complex ideas in a simple way.
- The four-chapter plan is good, and between 40,000 – 60,000 words will be acceptable.
- Consider whether the Scope “and Dimensions” of my practice is the right term and write more about them. I should include the Covid paragraphs within the same section. What didn’t I do because of Covid and why? Covid lockdowns also affected the scope.
- I need to ensure that I include key terms in the glossary, elaborate in a footnote, or amplify within the text as an additional sentence. In this regard, I need to decide on my referencing style – Harvard or something else.
- I should ensure that my web references and footnotes are in a consistent style.
- I should produce an introductory paragraph at the beginning of the chapter to be clear about what I intend to cover and then refer again to my aim in the closing paragraph. What have I covered and how did it move my research forward? This approach should be used in all chapters.
- The concept or method of reflective and reflexive practice is only referred to in section 2.8 and should be threaded through the Case Studies and the rest of the chapter. “Reflexive practice” and the “quiet photographer” concepts underpin my work. In fact, these approaches could be introduced as methods or as a practical framework. They are methods that demonstrate an understanding of who I am as a photographer. Walking and blogging are also methods, and my practice is a research method. How did I research through practice?
- The Case Studies are good but why these, what were the questions/aims and how did I set them up? Why did I do them? (“in this body of work, I tried to explore this and then what was the reason . . .”). Could refer to them as experiments on essence through practice – the struggle. I could reflect on the Case Studies in Chapter 2 and then reflect more generally in Chapter 4. A good place to put contextual work on contemporary photographers.
- I need to reference backwards and forwards throughout the thesis to help the reader.
- Weaving together the ideas, writers, artists etc throughout the chapter works very well.
- Be sure to focus on the second half of the chapter – not as polished as the first.
- The format of blogs within the thesis is now good but the words are too close to the box line. I need to improve the quality of the screenshots.
- Should refer to an “aim” rather than a “task” (p27 and 31)
- In the paragraph about Nan Shepherd, the last sentence should be the first sentence of the next paragraph
- Typos p18 “black and white image” and stray “W”
I am looking forward to the festive break before embarking on these amendments and ideas.
My name is Alison Price and for the past ten years I have travelled the world photographing wildlife, including Alaska, Antarctica, Borneo, Botswana, the Canadian Arctic, Kenya, Rwanda, South Africa, Zambia and Zimbabwe.